Monday, February 05, 2007
really quite tired for the past few wks. I have been looking all over for a v day present for the past few wks and yet i still cant find anything for him... i am thinking whether i did not understand him at all... or is it we cant communicate at all.... i was so confuse... i cant even tink where is a new place for dinner.
He is not around this 2wks becoz he go back for reservist. This mth is already so busy for him and we hardly have the time to watch a movie.... thing is like becoming worst for us. I started to think abt going on with our seperate life would be better...
He came to meet me on fri for lunch and i felt that we still as loving as before but there is something that has change and i am not sure wat is that. I keep thinking when is this going to end or even will it ever going to end ? So tired in this relationship and feel like having a break.
i am so moody this few wks and i really dun feel that Chinese New Yr is round the corner and i usually will be very enthusiastic abt spring cleaning coz that is the only time i will clean up my whole room but i feel so tired at work and hardly wanna move my butt to clean my room. The worst thing is that i cant even find any nice looking clothes ard for CNY. I still have a lot of things which i havent do i still owe my beloved friends some earrings and hope to get it done before i meet them during CNY. HELP!~ hw i wish things just go my way smooth and easy.....
After uploading all my new loots for CNY ... pretty disappointed i hardly bought any fantastic clothes for new yr...
new acessory 
Labels: Confuse ~
BLOGGED! @ {Monday, February 05, 2007}
Monday, January 15, 2007
I went shopping with L on sat and after that we went to cut our hair at Wheellock. I was very happy that day coz i am going to meet M later during the afternoon. Later M called, he said tat i can go to his colleague's Hen's Nite... I was so happy to hear that! I finally get to go and know his colleagues. I would like to know more abt his work life and ppl that he surround with.
M met me at Vivo for dinner. Then we went to Toy'R'us to buy a tiera for the Victim (K). She was suppose to wear that for the whole nite. When we reached St James at abt 9.30pm, I was introduced to his colleagues. Some of them already know who i am. That nite is a magical nite for me. DO u know that nite he was very busy?? i never get to see this side of him before for the past 6 yrs with him. He look totally like a different person. Whatever his colleague ask him to do he will do it immediately and he makes sure that everything works perfectly that nite. Although i was left alone with his colleagues i also enjoy myself coz i havent been to nite spot for a period of time. That nite he was force to drink a lot coz his boss is really a good drinker. When his boss left, he insisted to stay at the place for 15 to 30 mins before he can make his move. While we were dancing to past that 15 mins, that magical moment happened....
I keep thinking that nite and that magical moment. I think i will nv forget it!
BLOGGED! @ {Monday, January 15, 2007}
Sunday, November 26, 2006
I feel like getting split personality soon. One side of me is so happy go lucky and the other is like fill with sorrow and agnoy. I heard one of my sec sch friend is getting marry soon (next year) and my face show the look of envious. I cant stand myself envy other ppl! Coz it only proof to me that I'm not good to myself and im not happy with wat i am now. I really envy ppl going to get marry and so happy spending their life with their loved of their live. Is true that getting married is not going to proof everything but the vow that they have made is the responsiblity that they are willing to take and that make me jealous of them! The worst enemy now in my life is myself, there is no one i can blame. What more can i say....I watched Happy Feet yesterday. Many ppl think that movie is quite good but i think it another way. I find it so so only and i think that movie is trying to convey some msg across and that is the we, human are fishing too much and creatures or animals do not have enough fishes to feed on. I was kinda sad to see the animals are suffering and yet we are here enjoying our food. I must agree that the show is quite funny.
BLOGGED! @ {Sunday, November 26, 2006}
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Start to realise there are alot of things i wanna do in life. Like dressmaking and learning to dance. Luckily i am found a friend that is able to join me.
I once went to a fortune teller, he told me i will have 2 best friends in my life. Seriously i thought i should have more than 2 best friends. But i know these 2 friends are the ones i can count on when i'm really down or something... I wonder who is the 2nd one?? COuld it be the one who join me? Aiyo i think i think too much again.
Recently my boat is sailing smoothly i really hope everyday is like today... But there is no such thing as forever.. People change and so is the surrounding. Planning for a trip next year... have to save a lot before i can travel. This time is not going to be HK or BBK.
BLOGGED! @ {Sunday, November 19, 2006}
Sunday, November 05, 2006
my relationship with M is really complicated now. Really not sure wat is my next step. misery is the only word i can describe. Falling in love is a splendid thing but once u are falling out of love is like asphyxiate. Im in the middle of both so can u feel my misery?? Maybe you guys do not understand at all..... I lost my favourite watch at home today. I usually place it on the table or the coffee table in the living room but today i cant find it on both the tables. MY heart is like cracking into pieces because the watch was a gift from him 3yrs back. The lost of this watch really makes me think that our relationship has come to the end. Maybe i think too much again....My company D n D has finally end (1 wk ago). The D n D food is so so only maybe because i didnt get to eat some of the dishes. Anyway i got my tarot card reading that night. The lady said that im trap in this relationship and i cant do anything to get out of this trap. Which i think is really true. She ask me to pursue whatever i wanna do in life at this point of time and think of other things beside improving this relationship. I will be free from this trap after a few mths. Whether this kind of freedom is good or bad she didnt say at all... But she said this relationship as per normal...Everytime after meeting him we will have a small chat and this issue is always the topic. Im getting sick doubting his feelings and by the end of the day when he went home i will think through again and i always nv fail to cry. I really hope it end with a happy ending after 6 yrs together.
BLOGGED! @ {Sunday, November 05, 2006}
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Quite some time nv blog liao. I'm glad that i'm able to blog today. In another words, i'm able to reach home early after 2wks of OT. Today i get to learn that one of my colleague is leaving the company. I am quite shock to hear the news. And because of her departure i have to take back my work. Part of me is still wondering why she wanna leave the company... (i'm a bit KPO). For past two wks i had to OT that was because i cant finish my work on time. I'm really worry that i cant cope if i have to take all the work back. Sometimes i really don't understand how my mentor work so fast. I take FEW hours to finish one portfolio while she only takes half to 1 hr to finish the same portfolio!! I am truly amaze by their working standards and also understand that they are expecting the same result frm us (newcomers) M keep telling me that i can do it. But im not that kind of person that can do things very fast and yet make no mistakes at all. During sch days i am really good at maths and science but my best is still science not maths. When comes to numbers i tend to make very very careless mistakes and because of that i nv get an A. Sigh.. lets not talk about work anymore. AS usual... As long as i know im doing my best i will not feel guilty.
Let talk about this play that we are performing.. i think everyone knows this movie, 
Moulin Rough. I am going to be one of the dancer in the play and the main actress will be my mentor,C. Seriously i think she is a very smart lady. Good at work and play. at 1st I did not wanna be part of the play but i wanna know more ppl and so i join in the fun. How i wish instead of performing a play it will be more interesting to have a dance performance so i can learn more professional dance steps. I have been thinking to enrol for a salsa dance course but M dun allow me. Because the dance involve some intimate moves. Sianz..
BLOGGED! @ {Tuesday, October 17, 2006}
Sunday, October 08, 2006
Today i finally get enough sleep. I have been working so hard for past few days n i'm having lots of problem with my body. On the other hand i am facing some relationship problem after 2 yrs. This relationship has been going on for 6 yrs is neither long or short. For the 1st 2yrs i having problems due to guys friends that i am close with and the 4th yr i have problem with his another girl friend and our 6th yr i am having the most difficult problem i cant even solve it on my own. He is having problem to identify his 'self'. Tell me what come next another 2yrs ....breaking up?? I tell myself i had enough problems with the 1st 2 boyfriends i gonna open my eyes big enough to look for a better one and this is what i got after going on for 6 yrs.
i really dun know should i hate him or myself. i have a long journey in front of me i just want to find a lifetime partner is that so hard? Or am i a difficult person to be with?? I have a lot of qns in my head one of the most impt qns is 'shld i carry on with this man?' I dun wanna leave him... but looks like this relationship is really hard to carry on... or shld i just wait for him for another 2 more yrs. My life is like sailing in a stormy sea.
I went to VIVo City this evening. Nothing much le.. some stores are not open. Actually thinking of catching a movie over there but all most all the show are are selling fast. While was looking at the screen, i saw a familiar face and after a 2nd glace i knew that was A!!
BLOGGED! @ {Sunday, October 08, 2006}
